For almost 20 years, I’ve wanted to write a book. And still I haven’t. Yes, I’ve pursued additional education to help me in this endeavor. I’ve added almost 10 years of work experience to enrich my writing. And I’ve honed my message and identified my audience. And yet, I still have not actually finished the book. In fact, I’ve barely started. I outlined my book and prepared a one-sheet only to scratch said one-sheet 20 minutes before I pitched my book to a publisher. (Shockingly, the pitch went really well. So well that the publisher hugged me at the end of it.) I wrote one chapter and critiqued it with 3 insightful women. And that’s where it stands– an idea, a sketchy outline, a scrapped one-sheet and one subpar chapter. 

As I’ve reflected on my progress or lack thereof, I’ve had to confront my own insecurities. When I think about writing a book, thoughts of rejection and failure swirl around in my mind. What if people hate what I write? What if I don’t connect with my audience or steer them in the wrong direction? But these thoughts paralyze me from getting a message out there that I think God wants me to share.

In “The Shackles of Insecurity and the Freedom of Vulnerability,” speaker and author, Dr. Melissa Hughes writes, “vulnerability and insecurity are on the opposite ends of the emotional see-saw. Insecurity is a debilitating awareness of one's limitations. Vulnerability is the ability to see one's potential for growth. Vulnerability is what happens when you graduate from insecurity.” Insecurity allows those limitations to paralyze you; vulnerability embraces your limitations as a catalyst for progress.

What insecurities have you faced in your profession? How have these insecurities held you back? What or who has been helpful to graduate from these insecurities? 

The late Tim Keller wrote in The Meaning of Marriage that “the gospel is this: We are more sinful and flawed in ourselves than we ever dared believed, yet at the very same time we are more loved and accepted in Jesus Christ than we ever dared hope.” What does this have to do with insecurity and vulnerability? Deep down, we know that something is off. We shutter because well frankly, we know that our limitations are real and by their definition, they limit us. But they don’t have to define us. And they don’t have to cripple us. We can press on through insecurities to vulnerability because of love and acceptance. This love and acceptance is perfect. It is complete. It is not crippling but rather empowering because it is from the perfect son of God.

And so I post this little confessional to kick my insecurities in the teeth. These words are the weapons with which I fight. And as I graduate from insecurity, I embrace the vulnerable profession of writing. I stick my neck out and profess a message to an audience that may or may not receive it. All because of perfect love and acceptance.